So Long Microwave

My microwave oven was on it's last legs, but still hanging on by that proverbial thread, or wire, as the case may be. Fearful of killing it, we were cutting back on our usage, yet still trying to squeeze every drop of energy out of it before it went up in a puff of smoke (or a blaze of glory).

Then we noticed a strange thing happening. Certain jars that we store on a shelf above the microwave began popping... gently exploding. Semi-solids, like lard and peanut butter, were melting within their containers. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the five year old, lower end model, kitchen appliance was the culprit. I don't think it was ever meant to live this long, and as it lay on it's deathbed, it had begun belching radiation with every use. Not good. If it was causing damage to the food stored within its vicinity, then what might it be doing to our bodies when we are in its vicinity? So, in December, just days before Christmas, we tossed it out with the trash. I also decided that we were not going to replace it (not that we could have afforded to anyway).

Getting rid of your microwave is a lifestyle change, for sure. Just in the same way it was a lifestyle change when you first got that microwave. I'll bet you microwaved everything. The biggest benefit was the time you were saving by not "slaving over a hot stove". Working Moms could still serve a full sized home cooked meal. Holiday dinners were far less stressful. You could throw a casserole or a roast into the belly of the beast, and then go take a bath! Hot leftovers in two minutes flat. I'll bet you were even microwaving popcorn before microwave popcorn was even a thing (using the brown paper lunch bag method)! 

And then came a new generation of microwavable foods. Even foods that weren't microwavable suddenly had new microwavable instructions! We find ourselves no longer cooking, but really just heating things up. Two minutes for this, five minutes for that, and then you find yourself tapping your foot or drumming your fingers while waiting for the beep. "Come on, Man, I don't have all minute!" What happened to the glory of time saved? I just don't know.

Here's what I do know: the microwave uses much less energy than the oven. I mean, the oven has to preheat for fifteen to twenty minutes before it even reaches cooking temperature. But here's what I've learned: we are less apt to cook and eat frivolous foods when we have to prepare it, and cook it the old fashioned way. So in turn, the oven is being used far less than the microwave ever was. Which also means we're eating much healthier! Let's face it, most of those prepackaged, over processed microwavable things aren't really food. They're just microwavable things. Also keep in mind that you can buy all the fresh organic food in the world, but once you nuke it, you're reducing the nutritional value to that of a microwavable thing.

The worst part of this new lifestyle, for me, is that I have to plan our dinners one or even two days in advance so that I can thaw the appropriate meat, in the proper way (in the fridge, overnight). When I forget, then I thaw the meat in the second best way (in a dish of temperate water). And I have to consider the number of pots, pans, and stove top burners that I'll be using. Obviously I can't just throw the broccoli into a glass bowl and nuke it when all four burners are already in use.

But I also find that I'm actually starting to enjoy cooking again. When you actually cook, you become a chemist, a chef, an artist... not just a long fingered button pusher.

Here are some links to get you started on your microwave education and will hopefully result in your own anti-microwave revolution.

The Hidden Hazards of Microwave Cooking: (Health Science.com) This is an extensive, in depth article citing experiments and  case studies. Long and sometimes complicated, but well worth the read.

Hidden Hazards of Microwave Cooking : (Mercola.com) Another extensive article citing case studies.

Microwaves Are Bad For You : (MedicalDaily.com) Here's a brief top five list of the reasons to avoid microwave ovens.

The Good Old Days Of The Telephone

I'm not exactly sure how this list came about.  Maybe because my cell was beeping it's annoying reminder that my battery was in need of a charge.  Or maybe it's because the Hubs had texted me three times in a row with "I", then "love" then "you".  It all just got me thinking about telephones, and the good old days, when I was very young.  So here is a list of ten facts about Ma Bell ... or would that now be Grandma Bell?

1)  A telephone was basic piece of equipment that hung on the wall in the kitchen, or sat on an end table in the living room.  The receiver was permanently attached to the base, which was permanently attached to the wall.  So, if Grandma called, you always knew where to find Mom.  Not very freeing for Mom, but it gave us the freedom to finally get into that forbidden thing that we weren't supposed to get into.   

2)  A phone had a rotary dial that went "click click click" when you dialed a number, and "r-i-ing r-i-ing" when you had a call.  That's it.  Click click, and ring ring.  But at least you could never confuse your record collection with your telephone.  You would be committed if you ever said something like "Is that my favorite song playing, or am I getting a call?"

3)  If you were on the phone with someone, and someone else tried to call you, they would hear an annoyingly repetitive beep called a "busy signal", to let them know that you were otherwise engrossed in conversation, and they were just going to have to call you another time.  We missed out on a lot of dates that way, Ladies.

4)  If you weren't at home when your phone rang, you would miss the call.  In fact, you would never even know that they tried to reach you in the first place.  Only your cat knows, but unfortunately she has been driven insane by the fifteen "r-i-ing r-i-ing"s that occurred every twenty minutes, for the last four hours.  Well, there's another party, you won't be attending. 

5)  If you wanted to make a call while you were out and about, it was easy enough to locate a phone booth.  There was one on every corner.  It was a cute little glass house that came complete with a phone, a convenient shelf on which to count your coins, task lighting, and not one... but two phone books.  As an added bonus, you walked away with a staph infection on your lips, and urine on your shoes.

6)  When the phone rang, you had no way of knowing who was on the other end of that line.  It could be the Sweepstakes commission, calling to announce your winnings.  Or the mortgage company, calling to demand your payment.  What a great way to refine our talents for deception.  You could answer the phone in a foreign language.  Tell them they have the wrong number.  Or for even more fun, deepen your voice and say "Dave's not here, Man."

7)  A telephone had a remarkable ability to make a phone call.... oh, yes, and it could also receive a phone call!  It was like multi-tasking, only you had to do them separately. 

8)  There were a number of games you could play on your phone!  You could call someone... and then hang up!  Or you could pretend to be someone else...  What a hoot!

9)  Most phones came with a wonderful feature that would take a message for you, if you were unable to answer a call.  It was called "children".  They didn't use electricity, or batteries... only a pencil and a scrap of paper.  You could read your messages at your leisure, and most of the time, know exactly what you had missed.  Except for things like "Dad called.  He's going to be on a date after work, because he checked your lipstick and you were low on soil, so he's going to put your car in the garbage." (See if you can figure that one out).

10)  You could even listen to music on your phone!  All you had to do was "click click click" to your best friend, who just bought a new album.  Then they would lay their receiver down next to the speakers and play the latest tunes.  Easy!