At the start of the Spring season, when Summer weather begins to make it's approach here in the south, I find myself longing for those days when the kids are out of school. I look so forward to those precious extra hours of sleep in the mornings. I look forward to the ease of appointment scheduling, without the signing in and out, and worrying about who's missing which classes. Bedtime battles will ease up, as the kids get to stay up later and later, quietly entertaining themselves in their bedroom, with personal gaming devices, until they drift off to sleep. Etc, etc, and all those other sweet dreams that a stay at home mom fantasizes about. Now, here it is, the end of the season, and my rose colored glasses broke weeks ago. So here is the list of ten reasons why my ears are straining to hear the melodic chimes of the scheduled school bell:
1) I expected to have more hands to help with the daily chores, but instead I just have more chores!
2) Wet clothes ... they're in the bathtub, they're in the hamper, they're on the bathroom floor, on the bedroom floor, and hanging off the back porch railing. They're produced by the neighbor's wading pool, the other neighbor's sprinkler, water balloons, water guns, and my own hose. Like dirty dishes do, wet clothes tend to multiply, as a clean and dry outfit only stays clean and dry until the next water balloon is launched.
3) The critters. "Mom, look at the ____ I caught!" ... fill in the blank with any of the following choices: caterpillar, butterfly, moth, beetle, frog, toad, or snake. Luckily the snakes are not so much caught, as they are found... already dead at the hand (or wheel) of a vehicle, or a local cat. Also luckily, they are most often of the common, non venomous variety.
4) My front porch and surrounding shrubbery have morphed into the neighborhood landfill. We have collected an assortment of craft projects (i.e. painted tin cans and Popsicle sticks), broken and/or abandoned toys, scraps of paper, water bottles and their caps, colorful bits of broken water balloons, dried and/or wilted flowers, homemade brooms and the collection of pine needles and twigs that are used in their creation, and empty Tupperware containers with perforated lids that once contained a critter of some kind. Last week Hubsy created the "Clean-Up Marathon", and invited all of the neighborhood kids to earn a Popsicle. Everyone raised their scouting fingers and vowed to keep it clean. The next day there were bottle caps in the bushes!
5) The doorbell. It rings and rings and rings. It's as if the nine other neighborhood kids are lined up, single file, in the driveway, each taking their turn to step up and push the button. Sometimes, they counter the rings with intermittent door knocks. They always seem to come in the middle of a movie or a show, or a game, or when my hands are full of painting, or cleaning supplies.
6) The ins and outs. Princess loves to play tag with her friends, but she cheats. When someone gets a little too close to tagging her, she decides that our front hall is home base. In she comes, then out she goes. She's in for a drink... then out. Then her friend wants a drink. Then they all want Popsicles. She's in to change her shoes... see what I'm doing... pet the kitty... grab a cookie, etc. And if she's in for any more than three minutes, the doorbell begins it's repetitive song.
7) Not the TV show, but my actual Clean House. When the kids are in school, I can clean and straighten any room, and it will actually remain clean, and smell fresh, for up to six hours, consecutively! As it stands now, by the time I make my way to the other side of a room and turn back to see the results... a pair of flip flops has mysteriously appeared on the floor, a dirty dish has magically appeared on the table, a piece of clothing has materialized across the back of a chair.
8) Time to myself. I can't start a Karaoke Revolution with spying eyes giggling from around the corner. What if I want to throw on some Jason Derulo and do a little poppin' and lockin', until things start poppin' out of place and lockin' up on me? I can't subject my children to that. That's the sort of torture one gets at Guantanamo.
9) On various days, there are two times the number of children in my house, than I have personally given birth to. If I had wanted to be responsible for this many human beings, I would've married a Dugger. (For those of you not quite up to speed, The Duggers are that reality television family with more kids than Kate Goslin and "Brangelina" combined!).
10) Cabin Fever. All three kids have have spent the last two months together. All of the summer fun is winding down, and they're becoming bored with the things they couldn't wait to do all school year. They're beginning to turn on each other. I'm waiting for that moment when I find fifteen type-written pages of "all play and no work makes Punkin a dull girl". Maybe I should start hiding the axe.
I'm sure that in about eight or nine months, I'm going to start writing another post about "Why I Can't Wait For Summer Vacation". When you start to see signs of that happening ... somebody please slap me!