Well, it took us several months, but we finally got the confession that we've been waiting for. We were just shy of performing one of the various techniques of old Salem. You know, filling her pockets with rocks and throwing her into the lake. If she sinks, she's innocent, but if she floats... then she really does have a secret Facebook page that she's been logging into, for the past three months, behind our backs, and against our wishes! Turns out, we didn't have to go that far. It seems that getting caught red handed on the neighbor's computer, in the middle of the night, during a sleepover, is a much better tactic.
We've held our suspicions for months, regardless of her denials, elaborate explanations, and taking outright offense at our accusations. We've kept our eye on the page that was:
- Published under an assumed identity,
-whose status updates only seemed to change when Punkin was at the public library.
-Whose friend's list was like a roll call of our neighborhood.
-Whose profile picture was... you got it... Punkin.
If I haven't said it before, let me say now, she is very intelligent, but she's NOT that smart.
Our neighbor had given us the details of how Punkin had logged into Facebook, after the other girls at the sleepover had drifted off to sleep. Knowing that we know what we know, she had little choice but to surrender her password, which we immediately changed. We deleted all of her photos, and all of her information, and left her readers with one final status update for them to ponder:
"Dad Found Out".