Where Is Mom On The Periodic Table of Elements?

There are some things in this world that just don't mix, or don't mix well.  For instance, one should never attempt to operate a text messaging device and a motor vehicle at the same time.  While these things are fine on their own, they simply do not go together without risk of great bodily injury or death.

Some things can not even be put within close proximity to one another without risk:  gasoline and an open flame, or Jennifer and Angelina.  Again, while fine on their own, the combination of these substances may result in bodily injury. 

And then there are things that normally will not bond, without the addition of an emulsifier.  We know these things to be oil with water, and fathers with teenage daughters, (as well as siblings).  In the kitchen, an egg or stick of butter will help the particles of oil and water to blend together nicely.  In the case of father and daughter (or siblings), the appropriate emulsifier is commonly known as Mom.

As one of the strongest elements in the known universe, Mom can withstand great pressures (when handled properly), and has a high tolerance for stress, motion, and heat.  Mom is capable of producing large amounts of self sustaining energy, and is able to recharge through simple means (like a hot shower, a favorite television show, and/or chocolate).

However, as an emulsifier, Mom should not be overused in this capacity.  Over-reliance will cause Mom to degrade and become unstable, resulting in outbursts, withdrawal, and resentment.  To avoid these occurances, it is recommended that the other ingrediants learn the arts of conversation, empathy, respect, retreat, and restart.

This concludes our science lesson for today.  Please refer to your notes, as you may be quizzed in the future.

Warning:  do not expose Mom to low temperatures or loud noises.

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