Now, remember, I warned you. I posted it right at the top of this blog. This household is a circus, complete with clowns, death defying feats of skill and courage, trained animals that do tricks, and even sticky floors! (It's a good thing I got that mop).
Ladies and Gentleman, please focus your attention on the shiny porcelain throne in the center ring. I had just scoured it two days ago, but just now noticed that no one had used it since! I know this because I had forgotten to turn the water valve back on, and no one else had taken it upon themselves to do it, so it was unflushable. The bleach cleanser that I had used was still clouding what little water there was left in the bowl. Now, It is true that there are two other bathrooms in the house, but I did find it to be rather odd that all three of my kids would put forth the extra energy to go all the way downstairs for the bathroom, and not have been whining and complaining about it for two whole days.
So, I remedied the situation. I turned on the water valve and flushed. To my surprise, an oddly light brownish/goldish colored liquid began to fill the bowl. from the tank. I Flush again. Okay, the water is much clearer now, but there are tiny bits of brownish debris floating around. Again, this is from the tank, it is not feces. (Oh, it had better not be feces). I'm puzzled. Baffled.
Okay, so this required some investigation. I am no dimwit when it comes to household appliances. My husband has been an acclaimed apartment maintenance technician for nearly twenty years. (Yes, you can be acclaimed in this business, even infamous). So, I remove the tank lid, and dive right in, figuratively speaking, of course.
- Flush valve,
- Fill valve,
- Ballcock (don't laugh, that is what it's called),
- Plastic coke bottle filled with pebbles (again, don't laugh, I'm saving pennies on my water bill with every flush by displacing the water).
- Flapper and chain.
- Empty semi-degraded cardboard Cheetos can. Wait... what?
Yes, I said empty semi-degraded cardboard Cheetos can. I found myself standing, mystified, just repeating to myself, and the air around me, things that I learned in mu high school Journalism class:
Why?... When?... Who?... How? And Why again?
Did my daughter sneak the snack and need a quick stash for the evidence? No, that's not it. When she asked for the chips, I gave my blessing. Was she emulating my actions with the Coke bottle? Maybe, but it certainly would've floated in the water, as it did when I found it, thus defeating the purpose. Perhaps she thought we could go completely "green", and recycle biodegradable products right here at home. I do want to add that I was impressed at the rate of decomposition of the disposable food container. That's got to be good for the environment... Way to Go Cheetos!
I never did get to the Why of it all, but figuring out the Who was easy. Don't think I didn't ask my Punkin Why. I asked, I pleaded, I demanded. But all I ever got was "Wasn't Me". Of course it was her, but she denied it in true Shaggy style.
To this day the only explanation to this event is that we truly live in a circus. Why does the motorcycle driver go ninety miles per hour around and around inside the huge metal ball? Because he can. Why do fifty clowns pile in and out of a mini car? Because they can. Why would my daughter put a cardboard Cheetos can inside the toilet tank? I don't know.